4 min and 50 sec to read, 1210 words

I don’t mean for that to sound so ominous, but I am very serious about it. There are no shortage of teachers or courses to learn from these days. Like anything else, most are great, some are not.  

I’ve talked about in previous blogs about the vibe. If you get a good vibe from a teacher, that’s a great sign. If you don’t, well…walk away. You’ll find someone else to learn from who uplifts you. 
I think the number one sign that you’re with a good teacher or coach for you when learning to sing or play is if you feel better, happier, and more uplifted when you leave your lesson that when you got there. 

Some people have those positive vibes that just seem to get absorbed by those around them. I know my teachers certainly did that for me and that’s what I strive to do for my students. 

I sense a red flag if someone is talking about a ‘hack’ or a ‘shortcut’. Not my vibe. I want to learn everything. I’m not interested in ‘hacks’. But I digress….

I have been blessed throughout my music career to have learned from wonderful coaches, teachers, and mentors.

But I have been in a few class situations however when learning to sing or play or learning about the music business, where I didn’t vibe with the teacher at all. I want to share a couple of stories with you. Just know you don’t have to stay. Just leave, walk away and find someone else to learn from and not steal your energy and not make you feel bad about yourself. 

I remember my very first private vocal lesson I had with the staff voice coach at the music school I attended. While my school was geared more to guitarists, there was a staff vocal teacher for those who wanted to study voice as well. 

During my first lesson, it felt like he was phoning it in. And what he was teaching me felt like it was geared more towards classical singers and I’m a pop/rock singer. It just didn’t feel like a match. That was my first formal voice lesson.   

So it was a few years before I ever had another formal private voice lesson because I guess I just assumed this is how voice lessons were. In the meantime I continued to be a self taught singer racking up a laundry list of bad and unhealthy habits along the way. 

Bad Class Situations

I’m going to tell you about a couple of unproductive, boring, even nightmarish class situations that I’ve been in. Two of these situations weren’t about playing music but music business.

One thing I don’t like about the classes I’ve been in is the fact that you have to be on a Facebook page or Group and I really hate that. That isn’t something that I participated in. 

There wasn’t really a curriculum, but different subjects all business related and guest speakers some weeks. This particular class took place during the summer of 2021. And my dog was very sick. She was very young and very sick. She was in the hospital for about 5 days. At the same time my dad was in the hospital and was ultimately diagnosed with lymphoma. 

I had a lot going on and was exhausted mentally. And these things were more important to me than any class I was in. 

Called Out in Front of the Class

I showed up to a class and the host was asking how’s everyone doing ect. I said that I’m sorry I missed a couple of classes but that I’d go back and watch the recordings and get caught up. And that I’d get the assignment finished.

The guest speaker called me out in front of the class of maybe 8 people and proceeded to say how unprofessional that was and that they would never let anything get in the way of their business not matter what was going on in their lives. And that they showed up to the studio after getting a call about a potential song placement or something, 2 hours after their mother’s funeral. They proceeded to give a couple more examples if memory serves. 

I’m a grown woman and I should’ve spoke the hell up and said ‘no’, that is not important to me, the other things I”ve been dealing with are important to me. And the host of the class didn’t stand up for me, they were just shaking their head up and down like, ‘yeah shame on you’.

I should’ve said um, f*ck you, tuned the zoom off and never went back because that’s not how you treat people. And I really got the sense that the person dishing the insults to me was kind of an unhappy, miserable person. I don’t know, they might be the happiest person ever, but that’s not the vibe I got. Jeez, I can’t imagine why they would be unhappy??

I don’t really care what these people think of me, but the fact that I’m a student in your class and you treat me that way? I really regret not standing up for myself and if that would’ve happened even just a few months later I would’ve done what I wished I had. 

Another Example When When Learning to Sing or Play

Anyway, let’s talk about another class. I was in a vocal blues class and they had a guest teacher. A local blues singer. This person might’ve been a local blues singer, but a teacher they were not. 

Everyone in the class had to perform a blues song and get feedback and advice from the guest teacher. I felt like I sang pretty well. I waited for my feedback. This person said, “I don’t know, that needs some ‘sweetnin”. I’m waiting, thinking okay, are you going to tell me how to give it some ‘sweetnin’? Are you going to teach me how to do it better?

Needless to say, I didn’t get a lesson from that person. It was crushing at the time. And again, looking back, why would I stay in a class with an environment like that?

Know When to Walk Away

I guess I felt like I had to suffer for my art. But luckily the most important teachers in my life who taught me the most were so generous, supportive and loving, and inspiring. 

I guess a few bad experiences when learning to sing and play along the way might be par for the course. I’m just saying, you don’t have to stay anywhere that you feel uncomfortable or where you don’t feel supported and seen. 

I want to create a safe and supportive environment for my students. And I hope to give groups classes in the future because I feel that they can be so important. And of course private lessons can be life changing.

Find a place to learn where you feel amazing and uplifted and excited about your musical journey. 

Until next week…Keep learning, practicing and keeping the good vibes going!

Best,

Amy

To book an online lesson with me:

amyhaistone.com/services